An Old Bloke and a Dirty Puddle

Maybe this is another instalment on the theory of never growing up, or a filthy way to end 2023 with a big splash. In my mind growing up does not mean reducing playtime, that is not an option. Bodywise, that is a different phenomenon altogether. At the middling age of 54, I’m at that age when asked 'if I’d like to ride flat out through a deep puddle and see if we can get a rad shot', I’m all in. In fact, if anyone wants to take the time and effort to take photos of an old fart riding a mountain bike down a trail, as fast my fear of consequence will allow, then who am I to argue. 

After a few laps of Grogley Woods, being lapped by endless people half my age on over-priced E-bikes, reminding me with each passing lap that I’m now riding what are apparently known as ‘analogue’ or even an ‘acoustic’ bike. Slogging our way up the fire roads, I did have that feeling of being a little lethargic after too much Christmas fare. But that said, lap after lap we dropped into another gravity-fuelled descent, dodging trees and sleeper roots, trying as hard as I could to keep up with my friends Josef and Tom. It soon became apparent that being in their early twenties, and both great riders, I would lose sight very quickly. Keeping up was a futile effort and  although I continually bolstered my smashed ego with the excuse of not riding much of late due to a previously dislocated finger,  the result of a stupid crash on my local hill. Throw in a nagging bad back, a dodgy ankle,  an aching foot and wrists,  I was understandably off-pace. I said to myself ‘Surely I’m never that slow’. I convinced myself that more time back on the bike would have me snapping at their youthful heels. Not a chance, who am I kidding, I’m 54. They both ride XC, enduro, road racing, and if it weren’t for the fact that Tom had to leave early, which took the pace of things considerably, being an absolute trail beast, I’d have been waiting for the air ambulance with spare oxygen, and a dose of performance enhancing mince pies not long after his departure. 

Grogley Woods is full-on enduro riding. It’s rough, steep and technical in places, but I love it. I actually got a podium there in 2021 in the Super Veteran 50+ category at the South West Enduro. The climbs are steady, and the wide fire roads meander back to the trail heads. Unfortunately, my idea of steady is a lot slower than two young twenty something steady. But, riding downhill, I would argue all day long that I have the same passion, the same excitement and drive to go as fast as I can, not as fast as they can, as fast I can, I do race my own race these days. I’ll absolutely enjoy it as much as anyone, and when I  reach the bottom, maybe way behind, I’ll arrive having equal amounts of stokedness (if that's even a word). At 54, I’m never going to be as fast, but I love it, and riding with these young ‘whippersnappers’ is too much fun. I would also add here that ‘Fist Bumps’ before and after a run, are a shared energy, not exclusive to the younger Gen Z, and as a firm member of the Gen X fraternity, many of us are well accustomed to the ways of the young, so never leave me hanging....Tom!!

When it comes to tapping into my inner child, the same one who used to jump his tracker bike off scaffold plank jumps, bunny hop people in the park, or ride a BMX through endless mud tracks all day, and coming home covered in muck, to the annoyance of my mother,  I’m all for keeping this feeling alive. 

I’m not ready for armchairs, pipe and slippers just yet, so I say this with all the humour I can muster, but when I get a chance to imagine myself as a professional mountain biker on a photo shoot, with a camera pointing my way, helping a friend get a few great shots in the woods, it’s an opportunity you don’t turn down. A shot of myself, trying to look like I’m OK on a bike, riding through a deep puddle of brown water, as deep as my hubs, knowing I’m getting soaked and covered in filth, and trying to add as much style as I have in my limited bag of style, again, I’m all in. Over and over, lap after lap, one shot after another, I love it. 

I know Josef gets amazing shots. As a semi finalist in the 2023 Red Bull Illume photo contest, Young National Landscape Photographer of the Year, or even the South West Coast Path Photographer of the Year, to name a couple of accolades, Josef knows how to get a shot. In a dark monoculture woodland, with sporadic sunlight, winter browns, bright green moss, and pops of rustic ferns, there were options, but it was always going to be a tough shot. I know Josef desperately wanted the sunlight that beams through the tall pines as he showed me a shot from the previous week. In this case the highlights were going to be the puddles, the stars of the show. We’d done a few shots on a section of trail above, using a smaller puddle, but it was the final puddle on a turn that connected two parts of the trail and this was the one that counted, especially before my energy went altogether. But in situations like this my inner child will take over, and I worry about the physical implications later. 

Josef set to work with the choice of lens, the position of the fern, deciding to shoot wide or bring it in tight. I simply became the model, and did a damn fine job too, I might add. I cleaned my goggles, checked my outfit,  scrubbed some dirt off my bike, and just waited for his instruction. The truth is that both myself and Josef love doing this stuff and It's proper fun. For me, riding flatout through a puddle is just pure childish indulgence and everyone should do it. For Josef, I’m sure it’s the end result and chasing that shot in not ideal conditions that he loves and  that’s the challenge, and reckon he nailed it. 

As long as I’m riding a bike, and as long as Josef wants to get some shots, I hope we keep doing stuff like this. Maybe for now there’s no other reason than to accompany a blog post, that a handful of people might read, witha few totally sick shots. Maybe we might get an article out of it this coming year, that would be a bonus. But there’s no better reason to keep doing stuff like this. The sheer fun of it and feeling like a kid, and secretly ‘feeling like a pro’!

An Old bloke and a Dirty Puddle actually represents a lot more than riding bikes. Apart from the obvious, behind that crash helmet, and the goggles, is a bloke who represents every grey haired bloke, or women riding bikes in the woods, covered in muck, with a grin on their face, and feeling like their 12 again. These shots represent being ageless, never giving in, and continuing to do what you love for another year that passes. Go and find a puddle, ride through it over and over and get covered in mud, and while you're doing it, be mindful of the fact that, beyond any shadow of a doubt,  I bet you're smiling. 

Happy New Year everyone. I hope you enjoy my ramblings and keep the comments coming. There is so much more planned for 2024, and some really exciting plans that I’ll begin to put into place in January. For now, have an amazing New Year. 

Photos by Josef Fitzgerald Patrick
@josef_fitzgerald_patrick
​@cornwallsportsphotography
​