Sometimes things can happen right on our doorstep. Lives can be changed only metres from our homes. Ten years ago I’d look out of my kitchen window and watch my neighbour head out for his daily walk. I was intrigued by this daily sight. Equipped with massive headphones, really tight tracksuit bottoms and oversized trainers, this daily routine began to catch my eye as he headed off to the coastal path. We often just passed neighbourly greetings, I always felt that he was a very humble and quiet man, and someone you wanted to engage, but neither could ever seem to get beyond that formal greeting. When a deeper conversation finally happened he gave me some profound words of advice that I've never forgotten, in fact his words have been offered to others too, passing on his wisdom when it’s been necessary.
At the time my son was probably three years old and I was teaching him to ride his balance bike across the road from our house. On the field above the ocean, and outside the madness of summer, the field is free from cars. Having a gentle incline means it’s a perfectly safe place to learn to ride a bike too. My neighbour stopped to chat and very kindly offered his admiration of our father and son bond. He'd been watching the progress over the weeks, my son’s achievements, and my joy, obvious when I was raising my arms, or offering up a high five. During this conversation I’d mentioned my work with veterans and loosely and in a forgotten context, used the term ‘mind over matter’. He quickly and ever so politely said ”please let me correct you, please don’t be mistaken, it’s mind and matter”. He went on to describe how an unhealthy mind will negatively affect our matter, our body, and our physical self. We talked of stress, and anxiety, and I explained that as we spoke I was suffering from acute stress, anxiety and depression was on the verge of taking hold. He taught me a breathing technique that emphasised following the journey of one single breath. He asked me to focus on that oxygen travelling through my body, in and out, which allowed me to immediately focus on the moment. He explained further how a negative mind can and will manifest itself negatively in our physical self, as he talked of stress leading to heart failure, skin disorders and potentially cancer. ‘Stress kills’ he warned in his gentle tone. But he also spoke of positivity, mindfulness, and meditation; his words were a wake up call; a pretty loud siren to make some changes. “You see, it’s Mind and Matter”, he said. I was so intrigued to know more, but before I saw him again, they had moved out, literally that week and thought about the regret for not speaking to him in greater depth, yet to this day, I’m thankful for his kind words of wisdom. In some ways I suppose , ‘Mind and Matter’ is not breaking any new grounds in life knowledge, literature or academic study, if you’ve been stressed or anxious, you will know that our minds affect our ability to eat and sleep properly, and if you have not experienced this yet then take this as a warning and do what is necessary to avoid the inevitable. By this point in my life, I had already begun to understand why the military might use sleep deprivation as an interrogation technique. Running a charity using surfing as a means to assist veterans in the management of their PTSD was a humbling experience, but it was slowly but surely sending me into such a negative spiral. My time with the charity came to an end amidst blame, out of control egos and lack of trust. Charity work had become a brutal wake up call and I was trying to do everything under my remit to keep people happy. I was either too proud, or too controlling to ask for help, and the consequence of this was going to bed, each night, mentally exhausted. As soon as my head hit the pillow, the bank statement would appear in my thoughts, and I’d spend the next 6 hours playing countdown; paying bills in my head until the account was empty, then go back to the starting balance, the same starting figure, and run it over again, then again, then again, I would run the same scenario until often it was dawn. If the military interrogated me back then, I would have given away the nation's secrets just to get a good night's sleep. Back then, stress and anxiety was gaining a real ‘Death Grip’ and these words ‘Mind and Matter’ meant so much to me. They really stopped me in my tracks and made me realise I was actually not well. Turns out my neighbour was a meditation master, like his Father back in India. His daily walks were part of his own meditative activities. He was truly a lovely chap, and as time moved on, I never forgot those words, and still hold them dear to this day. In a way I wish he could see that Jago is still riding bikes and our Father and Son bond is still really strong. I’d like to tell him that at times I do lapse and I do feel low. But I'd also tell him that I now have the tools to manage those times. My love of surfing and cycling, walking and writing, help to deal with that. Sometimes we meet people and they do have a real impact on us, and this neighbour was one of those. Who's yours?
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AuthorHi, I'm Russ Pierre, a Cyclist, Surfer and outdoor enthusiast. Please join me as I have some fun on my adventures and write about all the stuff that makes me tick. Archives
December 2024
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