What's your Story?

On ‘The Mind Unset’ Podcast the other day I listened to the host, Chris DiCroce who posed the question ‘What’s your Story?’ and this got me thinking, so I left home with his question in mind. Was I confusing this with imagining my own obituary? What would that say? Would it be full of smoke being blown up my backside, still fethering my ego as I slide into the burners in a wicker coffin. Would it read like a school report? 'Could have done better'. 'He was easily distracted, If only he’d paid attention'. 

What would be 'My Story'? I do like a story. I’m no adventurer or explorer, but I do like to take opportunities when they arise, I don't think I'm a massive risk taker, in fact I'm the opposite. My first music festival in my life is next month, and that's here in Cornwall. I've been to concerts but the whole Glastonbury, Donnington Park, massive crowds...Nah, that's not me. 

What about yourselves? Would life be full of adventure and passion? Would a eulogy speak to your compassion and convictions? Exploits and tales? Choices and Decisions? 

Arguably it’s a great exercise to reflect and evaluate where we are in life, and it should be a positive experience. What are we learning now that might help us or inspire others in the future? Are we missing anything? Can we do anyhting about that? A question that always pops up in podcasts is what we would tell our 16 year old self if we had the chance? But what if we looked back at our sixteen year old self and just took note of what we can see?  Would we see a young person with a clear path, determined to achieve great things or a confused individual that’s a little lost and not knowing a purpose in life, and finishing school with no clarity or direction. Now look at yourself today. Did you achieve those goals or are you still confused? I know where I am. The latter seems to be my trademark, but I’m working on it. Yes, I’ve had loads of jobs, and each one I’ve thought of as an opportunity and I think that’s OK, but at sixteen I didn't know what I wanted to do, and to be honest still don't, but this doen't mean I have known success. 

I certainly don’t want my gravestone to read; ‘Here lies the World Champion Procrastinator. He thought about doing great things, had some great ideas, but then put the kettle on and sat down again, and never saw them through’.

I’m not that bad, but we all have our moments. Am I a good listener? Maybe. Do I retain information? Only if it's relevant.  I like to think I have made a difference in some aspects of my life. Working with Veterans, a College Tutor, Coaching Sports people towards positive mindsets. I surf and ride bikes as much as possible to look after my own health and mental wellbeing. I'm a good Dad and Husband too, I think.  

I’d like to think my story would be about a good ambassador for  a healthy and enjoyable life and that’s really all I could wish for. ‘He made the most of what was on offer’. Education, or the great outdoors, travel, sports and creativity, even work choices, some good, some bad but always learning. I learnt I don’t need workplace stress in my life, so I got rid of it, I made a positive change and this changed my story.  I’d hope for a few words that mention how I like to chat 'He does love a story'. My son is always telling me I’ll talk to anyone, and I do. I always remind him that a quick chat to a random person, in a queue, at the bar, in a shop, walking the dog, wherever it happens; that quick exchange of pleasantness might change your day and theirs for the better. Opportunities can also come from having a chat and I love the idea that a simple chat and a parting smile can make a huge difference. 

Cycling the other day, I actually began to think why not many cyclists were say hello. I nod and smile at every passing cyclist, and on this particular day, It seemed the majority of the other riders were just not interest. Until, a young lad, rode up to me as I was taking a rest, and said' Hello, I love riding my bike and I  love riding through puddles'!.  That made my day. He changed my perception that day. He was covered in mud, he epitomised what cycling should be about. Smiling, enjoyment and yes, riding through puddles. When did everyone get so serious?  I passed him again on my return and asked if he'd found more puddles, and he replied 'Yes, I went through the same ones again'. He was smothered and his parents thought it was hilarious. That will be his story one day I hope. 

Surfing has been a huge part of my life. I’ve learnt so much from being a surfer, or should say that as the years pass by I've learnt so much from learning to surf, because you never stop learning. Perseverance, determination and commitment are key attributes needed. But then I ask myself how I managed to become a surfer when other aspects of my life have lacked  the perseverance, determination and commitment needed to succeed. Does this speak to an addictive personality trait? I don’t even know what that really means. I knew I wanted to become a surfer, and a story could be told about that. I was obsessed, and from that obsession came selfishness. There is no way anyone can truly become a surfer without being selfish, and that is probably the same for any passion, when nothing else matters. Personally, relationships suffered, employment was designed around the habit, and the mindset was so focussed on the next surf, weekend trip, weather forecast or opportunity, that I surrounded myself with people who are addicted to the pursuit as I was. I even married a surfer. 

Our stories can unfold as life progresses forward, or hindered by barriers that hold us back, acting as a barrier to either learn from,  get over, or step around. People who’ve had life changing injuries will be writing a new story, a new chapter. Loss and  trauma might contribute to new fears, and limiting beliefs, but if we can also allow these to open up new opportunities for change, and move forward once more with resilience and a fighting spirit.  The story that you tell might have begun in the past, but could well be shaping your future. Our stories are our own to share if we like, or we could just wait for someone to share them for us. I’ve left a few hints here for my family!

In the meantime, I’m putting my efforts into writing new chapters of mine and I’m thoroughly enjoying the process. I'm out looking for the next experience to write about. The last post was the experience of gaining a photo, and this led to another this week. The search to add to your story will add to the quality of your life, and I’d like to thank Chris DiCroce from ‘The Mind Unset’ for putting this thought in my head and writing my own thoughts on it. 

This is a great exercise. Please have a go. What is your Story? You never know, it might lead to change if you need it, or enhance your story even further.
​